found the other keg... it's in the tree
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
