Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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