Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I should be sponsored by Trojan
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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