and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
