As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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