quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize