Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
