He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
