you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
