their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
