I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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