Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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