Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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