So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
