So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
