Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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