He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
