this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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