Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
