I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
