Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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