well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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