mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
