I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
