Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize