I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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