This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
