dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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