I wanna bring you to show and tell
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
