If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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