You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
