Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Naked Twister starts at high noon
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
