i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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