I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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