OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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