So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
A bitchslap is in order.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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