Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
