The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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