your thong is hanging out like whoa
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
