i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
