Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i barfeds in our rink
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
