3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
