well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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