I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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