Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize