The maid of honor just puked.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Randomize