How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
