day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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