a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize