my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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