Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
