my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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