we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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