dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
