shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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