Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
