Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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