also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
