Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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