the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
