the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
